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Tuesdays

It's funny, as I was thinking about writing this blog today, you know, just trying to figure out what to write, I thought I would just ramble on. When I think about my line of work, the kind of work I've done over the years, I realize that I've worked with a lot of people, I mean, a lot of people. One of the things I've noticed is that people are afraid to change. I looked back at when I've struggled with changing things, and I wonder why it is that change can cause some people so much distress? I mean it can make some people physically ill to think about changing their behavior, changing their relationship, changing their job or changing where they live. What is it about change that creates a ****** nightmare for some of us? I wonder if it's the way we see it? I mean I've been guilty of ‘seeing’ changes right to the end and I haven't even started trying to change. I wonder if we do that to make it less painful, or do we believe it'll be painful when in reality we don't even know if it will be, it’s just an assumption. It’s funny how things can stress us out to the point that we won't do them at all. That we will stay in a ****** situation, will stay in a ****** job, will stay in a ****** relationship over changing them and maybe bringing ourselves some peace.


The more I think about it the more it sort of perplexes me why is it that we get stuck in the muck turning our tires instead of putting chains on those tires getting the **** out of there. Is change really that scary? I guess for some of us it is. It's easier to say that maybe we don't deserve change, or deserve to be happy, or what we think will make us happy is to stay in the same dead end jobs, same dead end relationships, same dead end situations.


The more I think about it the clearer it becomes. We get complacent in our situations. We get comfortable and sometimes we choose comfort over discomfort. We choose the boring over the unknown. I wonder what it is about the unknown that scares the **** out of us? I mean the simple answer is because we don't know what's going to happen. But I wonder if it's more than that, or if it's really just that simple? We don't change these situations because we don't know what's going to happen and so the devil we know is easier than the devil we don't. Imagine that's what keeps us stuck. So, if that's it then, intellectually we know that we don't know what's ever going to happen, or how something's going to turn out. What I have found over the years is that it can be a very exciting place to be not knowing, to not be able to see to the end.


Well, it is Tuesday and I'm excited to know I don't know how the days going to end. I don't know who's going to read this, I don't know if anyone will read this, but I'm finally realizing it doesn't matter, it's going to be what it's going to be.

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