Men To Boys / Boys to Men

I have been pondering writing this blog for some time. What does it mean to be a man? I mean really what does that mean these days. I was walking around the store the other day and they were selling soap and they had this soap with the label that reads Gen z boys soft and soya-like, weak. Now I realize for some this may not be offensive. I find it downright sad that we are now selling soap that describes our future young men as soft and soya-like( maybe they are). It seems peculiar to me that they would sell a soap like this or that someone would even buy this soap with this label on it, I mean maybe I'm making more out of it than it is right I mean someone said to me oh Luc it’s just a joke, I thought OK maybe, But I wonder how many bars of soup they sold as a joke. I guess I did not find it funny (my issue) I mean I get the joke you have a young man or an older man who would be deemed very masculine and you buy them that soap just to fuck with them, guys do those things with there males friends. and am I looking for the deeper meaning where maybe there isn’t(maybe)? There was this great quote I read that said “tough times make hard men, hard men make easy times, easy times make soft men, soft men make tough times”. It made sense that everything is related and comes back and goes forward in a cycle, but if we do not talk about the cycle, we do not recognize it.

I know for me this idea that you should feel bad because you're a man and that you are expendable, I mean some women are taking me to task on this and they've given me hate mail hate comments calling me misogynistic for really talking about men are important in our society they are not more important but they are important. I was talking to a client of mine about this topic, and she said is this is a thing my son came home from school and was talking about this the son is in the last year of high school so in Canada Grade 12. I was excited to hear this, talking about being a young man and she said no it was about from the young man's perspective he should be ashamed to be a guy and men have ruled the world for so long that it is time they took a backseat to the powerful women. I mean I guess how I have seen it women have always been powerful. I mean if you made it this far reading this, you know as well as I do that there have been some shitty men in the world you probably know some of them maybe you've even been married to them or dated them but really can you sit there and not think how many shitty women are out there have abused their role in society, abused their children or partner It doesn't mean all men are bad it doesn't mean all women are bad and it doesn't mean all men are good and it doesn't mean all women are good.

It always amazes me how we will put people in roles and then shame them for it, in my years as a therapist I would ask women So what do you want from a man, a large majority of women answer this way, well he has to be tall over 6 feet, good looking, fit, have a job, six-pack ab would be nice, six-figure income, 6-inch member or more, needs to be aware of his emotions, needs to be able to talk about his feelings but not to me, needs to be handy and can fix stuff, needs to listen to me but not solve my problems and don’t be needy. When I ask men the same what are you looking for in a woman I get, she must be kind, not a pushover, she needs to be attractive but my version of attractive and I do not care how much money she makes. So, what I have learned is that women have very specific things they want to be met when making partner selections, and in general, men do as well, yet they come across as very general.

I just read a post on FB and it said, He who doesn’t have a uterus should shut the fuck up,

okay so in this cancel culture imagine if I posted on my FB page she who doesn’t have a penis should shut the fuck up, I would be shut down for hate speech, it makes no sense to me, I just would never post something like that or talk to someone like that, it’s just not me. So what am I saying in this day and age maybe we just have more opportunities to be offended(maybe more than maybe more offended I mean the internet is everywhere and on social media, the likes or not like are seen as some people’s values drives ( it makes me something if people like me if they don’t I have no value), all men are pigs, it’s a statement of opinion, not a fact of, all women are gold diggers, an opinion not a statement of fact.

I know I am sliding down the rabbit hole here, but you get where I am going. I mean to get to my idea, so out of the list of things that some women like, fellas there are only two you have no control over, your height and the size of your member, all the others you can control, more money, get a different job or a job, get in shape, go to the gym, start walking get moving, eat better then you are. Control what you can control.

So long story about soap, what did I do, laugh nothing but walk out of the store and bought nothing there (my choice) and went to a different store looked around, and went home and started writing.

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