There are times when its is so hard to accept things as they are. Over the years I have wondered what it is, or why it is, my clients and myself have a struggle with this.
It can be painful to accept things as they are, as opposed to how we believe they should be. Even when we have things happen in our lives that we label as good we can still struggle to accept these things or experiences. I have wondered why this is for a long time. Why, when we get something or have a wonderful experience, why is it that we cannot accept it? People might say it is a form of disapproval of the self or possibly because the person is depressed. This, however, may not make sense to the people around us because things viewed from all other angles are going well. But rarely do moods make sense to us or make sense to the people around us.
Sounds glum but really, it is full of hope. What happens when we accept things as they are? It is not just ‘oh well, it is what it is’ which is what some have heard or believe. What about if we change that to ‘it is what it is now what do I do?’ Do I retreat back to one singular outlook, or do I move forward into the options I may not want to see, or even admit, are there? Do I push through and accept and change how I go forward? I can just sit there and accept or accept and move forward. I can accept I got fired and now look for a new job; I can accept the relationship is not working and move forward to change how I am in that relationship; I can accept I struggle with grammar and spelling and do nothing or I can move forward to help myself with it or ask for help, ideas or ways of managing. I can accept how I am or accept I do I have choices to stay the same or move towards change.
Accept and move forward or accept and do nothing. I can hear it now “okay so what do I do?” well, one thing is certain you can accept it, and nothing will change, or you can accept it and do the things you struggle with accepting that they are hard and move forward. You can accept a relationship is over and just sit in it or accept it and honour that pain and move forward. “How do I move forward Lucas?” Well, that is easy and hard at the same time. You just start making changes and see where it leads you. One thing is for sure though, if you do nothing, nothing will change.